There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
