dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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