The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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