ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
