you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
