dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
