I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
