there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
