Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
