Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
