She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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