Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
