So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
