I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
