Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
