Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
