walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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