yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
