her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
