I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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