In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
