I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
