guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize