if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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