The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
