I'm laying in your front yard are you home
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
