hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
