worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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