I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
