Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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