I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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