Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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