im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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