Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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