I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
