ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
