Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
