return my video game
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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