I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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