I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
