handjob tips. give me some.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
