You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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