The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
