So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so let's talk penis.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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