yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
