Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
