At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
