I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
