Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
