I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
