I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
