I am puke
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
