He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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