Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
