He asked to "fluff my boner.."
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
