I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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