You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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