Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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