If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
