i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
